“It’s like losing James Garfield all over again. For the second time. Although technically I wasn’t alive when the world lost the first James Garfield so I don’t really know what that was like but I doubt it was as tragic as this.” TheBloggess.com
The Mister and I were in Galena, IL once, and on the main drag there’s this store that has a stuffed and mounted Jackalope in the display window, just chilling there all nonchalantly like “Check this shit out, motherfuckers.”
I begged and pleaded with him to let me go in the store and offer them an unseemly amount of cash for this magical creature, but he wasn’t having any of it. At first he thought I was joking but then when he realized I was serious his tone changed from annoyed to frightened.
Later that night after I had martini’d myself into my happy place, the one where I do interpretive dances and sing songs to my dessert, we had to walk back past the Store of Awesomeness to get back to the car so my long-suffering husband could cart my drunk ass back to where we were staying. It took every fiber of my alcohol-soaked being not to press my face up against the glass, smearing it with tears and snot while I cried “I’ll be back for you! I PROMISE I WILL RETURN FOR YOU.” It was like that horrible “Not Without My Daughter” movie except I am way hotter than Sally Field and that Jackalope was way cooler than any daughter anyone could possibly have, ever.
Fast forward to today, when I am catching up on my blog reading and I read this tale of woe. Oh taxidermy, you cruel mistress.
